“Μιαν αγκαλιά απόσταση”

Ομίχλη απόψε κάλυψε την ονείρων πολιτεία

Και των δρόμων της εντώς

Εγω χαμένος περπατώ.

Όνειρα περνούν απο εμπρός μου,

Χαμένα, ποιητών...

Όνειρα νεκρά πριν καν ακόμα γενηθούν,

Που η Μούσσα δεν τα θέλησε απ'το μυαλό να βγούν.

Ψάχνω αυτό που κάποτε κρατούσα όλο λατρεία,

Μα οι Μοίρες δεν το θέλησαν μαζί του να διαβώ.

Ομίχλη γύρω μου παντού,

Σαν όνειρα που ακροβατούν.

Και βλέπω μόνο τόσο μακρυά

Όσο φτάνει η άδεια μου αγκαλιά.

"Cigarette"

Down

Lying down on the pavement
People walking -by, over, on-
None cares, None observes, None asks

"What's your story?"
"What are your feelings?"

Drained of any essence, of any pleasure, of any value
Casted away without as much as a second's thought

Lays
         Down
                     On the pavement,

What remains of a person's thoughts.

While the rain still falls...

                                                         ...thoughts,


       milions of those filthy, needy, greedy...  pleady...    stormy...      endless...          swirly...

                                     -notions, feelings, ideas, images-

                                         loudy, yet all comforting... 
                                  disturbing, yet pleasantly nullifying....
                                          void, yet all containing...

                               I'm sleeping lying awake in the midst...
                               I host the black whole that's within me...


                                                    And I make...

Free-dom(inance) - Part 1

"Are we free or are we bound?" - "You are free inside your boundaries."


You are let to believe that you can attain the ultimate freedom, that is your spiritual freedom. A state in which you can accomplish ,one the hand, or destroy, on the other, everything that comes in your mind.

BUT

Are you really? You are told that If you do this and do that, If you behave like this and like that, you will eventualy be free. In other words: accept your boundaries in order to be free.

Move on... where to?

Have you ever left a thorn piercing your skin only to remind you of the rose you once hold?

And every memory of it was like pushing the thorn deeper in your flesh;

And the more you pained the more you knew it was true;

And as long you knew it was true you wouldn’t let go;

Forever after...

Hi..
Hey...

(they hug and kiss)

are you sure?
more than ever before! are you?

I really want it (smiles)
I'm glad

I really love you , you know...
Of course I know (kisses)

How do you know??
Because not only you want to do it, but you want US to do it...

You are the only one I wanna do it with...
I love you (kisses)

I want to feel like this until the moment I die, I don't want to feel nothing else, and I want to be with you (kisses)
That's exactly how I feel too... (kisses) I want this feeling to last as long as I live (kisses)

I don't care what everyone says... I only wanna be with you! (kisses)
Then let's be together forever! (kisses)

Let's do it then!
Yes, I'm ready now!

(they hug...

they kiss...

they put the guns on each other's foreheads and they shoot... )

What is going on ??

Why am I doing this? Is this normal? Is it just the night? Am I turning into a stalker? Or am I just trying to know that person better?

Can't interpret my feelings anymore... is it just the night? or something more real?? Am i really felling something or am I just imagining it?

Think I have felt like this before... Yes I've definitely felt like this before; and every single time I got hurt ...
I'm afraid to get back in there... It's scary... I can't control it... can't control myself , my actions, my feelings...
It is a state of absolute freedom... and then absolute destruction...

Why??? why...?

I am trying to protect myself, unconsciously.... by building up walls... impenetrable walls... and if someone finaly finds a way in... i start destroying... first in my mind, then in real life...

I just don't wanna get hurt again... please...

Some say without pain, you cannot gain anything... yes i agree, with pain you gain lots of important stuff... but I am afraid of moving on... pain doesn't make me stronger anymore... I don't wanna be any stronger... I am strong enough to prevent anyone from making a real connection with me... i don't want it anymore...i wanna be weak... i don't want to think anymore... i want to do stupid things!!! i want to do pointless things!! i want to do the wrong things without knowing... Ignorance is a bliss...and I never had that privilege ... that of ignorance... I always tend to think beforehand... having as a result making minimum mistakes...and taking no pleasure in what i did...

I wanna cry... there many times that i wanna cry... but every time that i come close to it, i just can't... i become emotionally dead... no reaction, no feeling... just my mind and my thoughts... i want it to stop... i become so strong that i got alienated from my very own self...

I want the freedom.... but the consequences prevent me from achieving it... I am bond in my own bonds... I am a prisoner in my own mind... I can't escape... and I'm afraid that i won't...

I am leaving in a few days... so, whats the whole point of thinking all these?

Have a nice day {07:44 am}